Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 – by Ken Bolding
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 combines the depth of character of a boy band (the strong one, the smart one, the horny one, and the other one), with a visual style almost as good as Transformers IV, razor-sharp storytelling almost as good as Transformers III, wit and originality almost as good as Transformers II, and a Megan Fox almost as good as Transformers I. Even with all that, it was only almost as bad as if Michael Bay had directed it. Almost.
There’s some potential there. Some of the fighting was cool, and I thought Megan Fox did well with what she was given. Now that they’ve gotten the endless exposition of the origin story out of the way, maybe they’ll come back with a stronger script for the sequel. There will likely be one. I think kids might like it.
My biggest problem with it is that it is almost completely lacking in emotional resonance. I wish Caesar (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) and Rocket (Guardians of the Galaxy) would throw these turtles a beat-down. Now *that’s a movie I’d go to see… twice!
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